


Informative Insight

by CandyassGoth



Series: Destructive Tendencies can be Delicious [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awesome Phil Coulson, BAMF Jane Foster, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Confrontations, Emotional Loki, Everyone is just really cool, F/M, Feminization, He needs daddy cuddles, He's not pregnant he's just a teen, Loki feels inadequate, Loki is seventeen, M/M, Mentions of BAMF Skye, Or not..., Pierce is an asshole, She is pregnant cut her some slack, Steve knows how to handle shit, Sugar Baby Thor, Sugar baby Loki, Surprise celebrity visit, Thor is big enough to hug them both, Tony and Thor are good when they agree, and Bucky - Freeform, but also emotional Jane Foster, but everyone knows that, cut him some slack too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:50:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4427294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyassGoth/pseuds/CandyassGoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Pierce arrives at the Odinson/Foster residence to go through we his blackmail only his targets aren't going to take his sitting down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, I am sure by now everyone knows that Jane did not initiate an actual threesome relationship. Sorry for that confusion. Fair warning: this chapter might also be confusing if you are a law buff? Or I don’t know just don’t have high hopes. Wear your fanfiction goggles or something it’s gonna be over soon.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _I apologise for errors_

**Informative Insight**

 

“Hey baby.” Natasha said as Loki hopped in her car the next morning. 

He had a mild headache and his stomach was still in knots, and her usual calm demeanour was not helping in the least. Usually it was welcomed, it helped him to forget that Thor wasn’t actually his (ironic, in his line of business—though he wasn’t exactly employed anymore...). Now it was just a huge reminder of how fucked everything was. He had spent the entire night tossing and turning, once pretending he was asleep when Skye came in to check on him. He didn’t even want to see Darcy, what was she thinking of him? 

Luckily both women were still sleeping that morning when he got up and hurried out, Natasha waiting downstairs. Her car was now familiar, but today it didn’t have the zest it did, not with knowing Thor’s wife would be at their home, and that they were being targeted by someone who knew their secret.

He sighed loudly, rubbing his tired eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, sorry, ex-baby.”

“God.” 

“So…I hate to say I told you so...” She started, a smile fighting its way onto her face as she turned into the road. Loki found himself wondering if and when he would get his own licence, and if Thor would be allowed to teach him. Ridiculous images of sitting on his lap whilst practicing appeared but he banished them with an embarrassed huff on account of Jane’s face, huddling into the seat and trying not to wonder if Thor had longed for him all night.

“You told me to stick with Happy. Even that would’ve been a bust on account of my age...” He drawled, but she snorted.

“No one cares about Happy. Hydra wouldn’t have cornered him alone like they did Thor.”

A repressed and surprising bout of defence sprung up to Happy’s mention. “…That’s kinda harsh.” He mumbled.

“That’s business.”

Loki sighed. _Business_ , that is what this was truly feeling like. Everything was so serious now, so complicated, and so dangerous. It used to be so thrilling, so relaxing and enjoyable. He tried to be selfless, enough to come to terms with the fact that losing Thor was _not_ the worst outcome of this situation. That was the mature thing to do and being mature seemed so much more important if he was to compete with Jane, even if she hadn’t declared war.

“...So...this Hydra boss is threatening to tell the public? About Thor and I?”

“Yup. And well, now Happy too. Because he’s Stark’s connection, who is best buds with Thor. It will be the scandal of the century.” She said helpfully, making him feel worse.

Loki sighed again, slumping further into the seat. “…Maybe I shouldn’t go back. I’ve just fucked everything up like I always do.”

“You’re the minor here, Loki. It’s Thor’s fuck up.”

“So I am going to be treated like a kid now?”

“Oh it’s majorly weird, for the record.”

The rest of the ride was in silence, and Loki was grateful for that even with his morbid curiosity and simmering possessiveness of Thor. His feelings and thoughts were in such a mess, he didn’t know what to do. Part of him wanted to jump out of the vehicle and run home, pack his bags and board a bus then start over somewhere else. But the other part of him couldn’t wait to be back in Thor’s arms where it was warm and solid and he could just give over his worries, pretend he could float there forever. 

But that fantasy was no longer as powerful as it was, not after last night.

By the time they got to the house Loki had decided to stick with the latter and as soon as he was behind closed doors he ran into Thor’s arms, knocking the man into the wall. It was a first considering Thor’s weight, but it was Thor’s surprise that had him falling back, belatedly returning the hug of welcome as he came to greet them. On instinct he smelt Loki’s hair, humming as Loki did the same to his chest, trying simultaneously to melt into one another. Loki’s body shook, he felt like he had withdrawal symptoms. 

Thor was certainly a drug. It was glorious and wonderful and Loki wanted to cry.

“Break it up,” Natasha warned softly as she passed them towards the kitchen where Jane was heard talking, probably on the phone.

Thor pulled away first, putting some space between them with a palpable gush of cool air. In that moment of weakness Loki completely disregarded it and jumped back at him, plastering a wet nervous kiss on Thor’s lips. Thor met it with a grunt and made a noise in his throat that sounded like _uh uh_ , and managed to pry Loki off who resembled a determined sloth.

“No-Loki-sto-hey! No, shh! Loki—”

“I am _not_ stopping this! I am not a fucking child!” Loki breathed hotly against him, twisting out of every grip Thor put him in.

This time when he kissed Thor the man pushed him away, enough to make him stumble and realise his efforts were highly one-sided. Thor pushed himself off the wall and wiped his mouth dry with two fingers, glancing towards the kitchen. Loki’s gaze followed, flustered, and he felt a sting of betrayal burying itself through his chest.

“…Why am I back then?” he croaked, listening to Jane in the background.

Thor frowned at him, and in a worrisome moment after it morphed into a glare. Loki stepped back in caution, arms coming up around his stomach despite knowing that Thor wouldn’t harm him.

“You’re upset that I won’t kiss you? When my wife is six feet away? The same woman that didn’t call the cops? The same woman that came up with the plan to let you stay with us? You won’t sacrifice one thing to respect that? After all we did?”

Loki looked away, feeling reprimanded and once more ridiculous. His eyes watered, his stomach cold and empty, too nervous to have eaten before he left.

Then Thor’s shadow was over him, and Thor lifted his face, thumbing his cheeks gently. “Loki...I can’t...we’ll talk later, okay? Right now we have to be ready.”

“For what?” Loki asked reluctantly as Thor led him to the kitchen by the small of his back where Jane and Natasha hovered over a bunch of papers, both on the phone. Jane glanced up at him when they walked in. He froze, not sure what to expect or how to act. She smiled a small smile in greeting, but continued on the phone. He attempted a smile back belatedly, and Thor distracted him before it could get awkward—especially on account of that damn counter top.

“We have to get our story straight. You’re being trained by Natasha as Jane’s PA, recommended to her by her student, Darcy Lewis, who is your friend and roommate.” 

“Wow, that’s an easy fit.” Loki said, blinking.

“No coincidences, right?” Natasha smiled, ending her call, Jane right after her.

“No, no coincidences.” Jane agreed, and looked up to smile again at Loki, this time with more focus. “Hey, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Loki hurriedly looked at Thor who was leaning on the counter, not looking at all surprised to find out he wasn’t _Johnson_. Loki broke eye contact this time, and gave Jane back his attention. “Mrs. Foster.”

“Are you staying?” she asked. Loki could hear the ultimatum, so he nodded mechanically, ready to do what they asked.

“All right then.” She nodded, and handed Loki a bunch of papers. “Natasha and I got these out for you, if you’ll just sign.”

“Question...” Loki hesitated, taking the pen anyway. “Am I allowed to sign anything, being...seventeen? I’m not trying to be funny.”

“You are eighteen, as far as Tony Stark is concerned.”

Loki had just clicked the pen, stopping half way to the designated line. He froze and looked up. “What?”

“All your records have been appropriated and moved one year forward. As far as your records tell you are now turning nineteen. Legal and able to make all your own decisions. Jane is aware of your relationship with her husband so whatever evidence Hydra has as blackmail for _that_ scandal is moot if Jane is aware and has allowed such interactions.” Natasha explained it all whilst looking quite pleased with herself, as if they did it all while painting their nails.

Loki was still lost at the _being eighteen_

“So...no one will know I am underage?” he asked.

“No.” Thor said, failing to sound casual.

“And this is saying that I am training with Natasha?”

Natasha nodded. “Yes. You’re boarding with Thor and Jane, an all expense paid opportunity.”

“Sounds simple enough.” Loki mumbled, scribbling along the dotted lines and wondering if there would be reporters flocking outside at some point.

For a short while Loki hovered awkwardly among the _adults_ , sneaking looks at Thor who was trying his best to ignore them whilst not to be cruel. Loki eventually stopped looking at him to save him the worry. He didn’t know why he was looking in the first place. Jane hadn’t challenged or killed him, she had welcomed him into their home, offered him a place in Thor’s life, and she had not yet forbid Thor from having relations with him _forever_ —(though he didn’t want to get his hopes up, jealousy could bubble up later). And now they were trying to protect him, it was more than his own family had ever done. He couldn’t ask for better.

The blackmailer was apparently on his way. Thor and Natasha were on and off the phone with Tony Stark who was on his way as well, it seemed like it was going to be a party. And for once it was one that Loki wasn’t quite glad to be at. He felt like a burden, standing and doing nothing, as well as the cause to this whole debacle. Natasha said it was Thor’s mess, but he had thought a lot about this and he still chose to take the risk. And now the result was on his way to blackmail Thor, possibly ruin his life. He was selfish and he knew it, but each small warm glance from Thor made him think it was worth it.

Nearly an hour later two cars rolled up. One was Stark. The other was the head of Hydra and Co, Alexander Pierce. Loki recognised Pierce from that day at the office, and along with him was none other than Rumlow. His blood went cold, and suddenly he realised just who had ratted them out.

With a squeeze on the arm Thor urged Loki towards the back where he was made to stand with Jane. She glanced once at him, almost like a concern-check, as cool as a cucumber whereas he was still sniffling and fidgeting. He tried to imitate her calmness, but he had never been as good lying around Thor as he had everyone else in his life. The front door opened before he was ready, presenting Stark and Pierce. When they entered Thor and Natasha moved forward seeing as this was a business-blackmail matter, leaving them a couple steps behind. But being in the back of the crowd did not block the surprise from Pierce’s face when he came into the kitchen and saw Loki and Jane standing nearly shoulder to shoulder.

“Thor Odinson. Mrs Foster. Good morning.” He said curtly, to which none replied. Both Loki and Natasha were ignored. Over his shoulder Rumlow stood staring at Loki as if they were back in Skye’s apartment, and not Thor’s house. 

“Sorry about being late. I was caught in traffic.” Tony said, throwing his jacket and keys in random directions, looking like he had just come from a party. “ _Literally_ caught.”

“We escorted you, Mr. Stark. There is a difference. You seemed to have trouble getting here.” Pierce said with a cold smile. 

“I had a few things to sort out before the end of the world came. You can never have enough tinned food.”

“Now now, it doesn’t have to go that way.”

“Can we just get this over with?” Thor asked over their voices, face grim and not at all how Loki liked it. He used to wear that face a lot when they first met. While it had been sexy at times, mysterious and intimidating, Loki much preferred when it had melted away.

“I agree.” Pierce said, stepping forward with his palms open. 

“Just for the record—” Jane cut in, stopping Pierce in whatever he was about to say next, “when this is over if I see you _anywhere_ near my house or my friends and family I _will_ make you regret it.”

A weighty moment of silence followed, glances being shared in approval from Thor to Natasha to Tony. Jane was too busy burning her gaze into Pierce to catch it. Loki flushed off to the side, wanting to side step but scared of catching either hers or Pierce’s attention.

The elder man remained silent on her front, grinding his teeth behind his lips before he turned back to Thor as if she never spoke. “…Do we have an accord? I trust you understand the gravity of your situation, Thor. The charges will be quiet severe.”

“…No, I don’t believe I do.” Thor argued calmly after a moment, looking at Pierce in the eye. 

Pierce smiled nastily. The elderly man reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone at a leisurely pace, clicking through a few times until he found what he was looking for and held the screen up. It was an image of Loki leaning up and kissing Thor, behind them a shiny black panel that Loki automatically recognised as the limousine. He went a dark shade of red remembering that night, in the vehicle and the night after it, and did his best not to react as Jane’s jaw clenched. His only consolation was that she was glaring at Pierce instead of him.

Pierce showed it around the room, giving everyone a nice long look. To Loki’s mercy no one looked his way, not even Tony.

“Does this perhaps help? Thor?”

Thor pulled his lips and nodded slowly. “All right, you caught me with my mistress. I admit defeat. But you told Jane before I could, and that was personal.”

“Better Jane than—”

“Don’t say my name.”

“—the public…That was a warning, son. To prove that we are serious.”

Thor smiled. It was empty and cold as he looked around at his team, sharing a special smile with Jane for the show of it. “No matter. Jane knows and we’ve discussed it all. Everything is fine. Whether you tell the public or not means nothing.”

Pierce raised a brow. “Have you forgotten the real bargaining chip here?” he hinted, this time giving Loki a scrutinizing look that made Thor bristle. It was long and invasive enough for Jane to wave out an arm in front of Loki to break it.

“Keep your filthy old eyes to yourself, you bastard. This is my house and I will kick you out. _Physically_.”

At that Rumlow snorted. Loki had little doubt that Rumlow wouldn’t stoop to hitting a woman, but he had absolutely no doubt that Rumlow would even get to Jane with Thor, Tony and Natasha standing right there. He wasn’t sure why Natasha automatically joined the defence team, but suddenly it didn’t sound crazy either.

Pierce didn’t seem to be appreciating her input, giving her a filthy look then throwing it to Thor who was far calmer than he was yesterday when he dropped by for the unexpected visit.

“I’m afraid I am not quite sure what you mean.” Thor said, folding his arms and shrugging. 

Pierce took another moment to glare at Loki and Jane, scheming going on in his eyes. “You know what I am talking about.”

“I actually don’t.”

“Not your smartest move.” Pierce shook his head.

“Boss?” Rumlow leaned over to Pierce, looking extremely put off by the reactions they were getting. Pierce ignored him in favour of glaring down Thor, then lifted his phone once more.

“I didn’t think I’d have to go through with this. You’re as stubborn as your father, but not as bright. It’s a shame really, because once the public gets a good look at _this_ they—...” The conniving man trailed off, frowning at his phone as he swiped through it. To the side Tony widened his eyes in a mock ‘Oh uh’, letting slip an obnoxiously grin when Rumlow caught it and narrowed his eyes.

“They…?” Thor prompted as Pierce searched hurriedly through his phone. He breathed something to Rumlow who immediately whipped out his own phone and did the same, blinking in apparently surprise.

“Lose your pills list, gramps?” Tony asked. 

“Where is it?” Pierce asked, viciously swiping through his phone as Rumlow did the same. Loki swallowed hard, unsure of what it was that was apparently missing, but knowing it could only be good for them if it was bad for Pierce and his thug.

“Where is what?” Thor asked, loudly and rudely. Natasha stood stoic, arms folded and leaning slightly to the side. It was intimidating to say the least. Jane stood in a similar fashion, only she didn’t look like she could kill someone with a flip of her wrist, but her bark so far was definitely something to contend with. It left Loki feeling vulnerable and out of place, but the urge to hide behind Jane made him just as uncomfortable.

“It’s erased, all of it.” Rumlow growled, shoving his phone back into his pocket, tightening his fist aggressively.

Pierce eventually looked up at Tony, lowering his own device as it dawned on him. “You purposely stalled getting here, didn’t you?”

“You’d be surprised how often stalling works.”

“How did you get into my files?”

“All you need is a good motive.” Tony grinned, a venomous grin that did not reach his eyes nor suit him, and passed it onto Thor who was glad to reciprocate with a smirk now that Pierce knew they had the upper hand. Loki didn’t know who to look at as his heart raced, hope and fear escalating wildly as his tendency for pessimism fought for dominance.

“You took it all.” Pierce said softly, managing to sound even scarier. Luckily Tony and Thor didn’t seem too worried, or at least didn’t show it. Natasha looked bored, and Jane still looked livid.

Tony shrugged, swaying his head side to side. “Well it was all quite outdated—much like you are. But you’re welcome to go get them back if you want to.”

Pierce growled. “You tampered with it.”

“With what? Can someone please tell me what this old bag is on about?” Tony asked the group as if they were an audience on his talk show.

“I’ve been asking that for hours.” Natasha threw in.

“You know what this is about!” Pierce shouted, for the first time losing his cool. He pointed a crooked finger at Loki. “That boy is seventeen years old and you can’t undo that.”

“Oh but, if you check all his records I think you’ll find they disagree.” Tony retorted. “It’s not uncommon at your age to mistake things like numbers and dates.”

Pierce clicked his tongue. “Oh please, there are things you can’t modify. Has anyone spoken to his parents? Pulled out his actual birth certificate?”

“Actually I was just over there.”

The room of people jumped as an additional voice joined the air. Everyone turned to find a middle-aged man walk in through the hallway, neatly suited and equipped with a confident gait, as well as a tall buff blond man at his side that Loki knew to be none other than Captain Steve Rogers. He tried to shrink on instinct, feeling just as threatened by him as he did Pierce on account of the secret.

“Ah, Agent Coulson, right on time.” Tony said, waving them forward. “Cap, good to see you.”

Coulson walked in like he had been there a million times, nodding at the congregation. He shared an apologetic smile with Jane when he saw how angry she was, then extended his hand to Steve. “Sorry I’m late. Everybody, I’d like to introduce Captain Rogers.” 

“Ladies, gentleman.” Captain Rogers greeted, arms folded too and already looking business-y. He had that ever serious look on his face, and Loki froze when his knowing eyes found him. Did he know how old he was? Did he ever? Unlikely, all he probably knew was a face and a name. Was he here to lock Thor up if this went bad? Was this Coulson on their side seeing as he seemed to be from Tony’s side? Should he duck and run? Captain Rogers would probably catch him.

Coulson smiled at the gathering. “I have asked Mr Rogers here to bear witness, he comes highly recommend by an employee of mine. I had to pull him out of something important so let’s not take too long.”

“He’s really just a big fan.” Tony added, but no one was listening to him, all eyes on either Pierce or Coulson, the former of whom was glowering but for once, silent and fidgeting.

“I actually do have his birth certificate, Mr. Pierce, and it makes me wonder how desperate are you that you’d use such ridiculous claims to bring down a fellow businessman and hide your own underhand dealings.”

“His own underhand dealings?” Captain Rogers repeated, giving Pierce a look as he accepted the birth certificate from Coulson, and looked over it. Loki went ice cold, wondering _how the fuck_ , but remembering Tony had changed it all for him. He doubted that was the same paper that his parents had lost years ago, but he also doubted that anything Tony Stark produced would be less than perfect.

Pierce stood stall, wrinkled lips pursed and face stern. “I know nothing of these _dealings_. But you need to hear about—”

“Oh I think you do.” Coulson smiled. It was a simple plain smile for a plain man, but Loki he was not fooled, not in the slightest. If anything his mannerisms reminded him of Natasha.

Coulson paused just long enough for Captain Rogers to catch the look of uncertainty flash in Pierce’s eyes, passing back the certificate. “Does Project Insight ring a bell?” At this Pierce narrowed his eyes, but he was the only one who seemed to understand what it meant other than Tony.

“What is Project Insight?” Captain Rogers asked.

“Schematics for a new weaponry system SHIELD wanted to develop. Nick Fury asked me to consult on a few things to do with Project Insight.” Tony said. 

“Yeah, I work for him.” Coulson shrug-nodded. “And we have evidence to prove that you’ve been stealing SHIELD intel and trying to pass it off as your own, sell it into partnership as soon as you could so you couldn’t be challenged.” He said to Pierce, who was still standing tall and unbreakable.

“That’s why he’s been hounding me.” Thor said with a blink, “To certify ownership.”

“This is ridiculous!” Pierce laughed a tense laugh, looking around at the many solemn faces, Rumlow quiet and tense behind him. “Hydra has been around as long as any. We have nothing to hide.”

“Because you’ve been stealing the truths of others and passing it off as your own since the very beginning. You’ll do anything to get anything, include framing and fraudulence.” Coulson challenged, flapping the fake birth certificate.

“You’ve yet to produce any kind of evidence.” Pierce shot back. Coulson smiled, pulled out his phone and stepped closer to Steve as he dialled a number.

“Yes, well, my guys on the inside are a little busy _dealing_ with it. Mr. Fury would like it all back now that we know just where to find it all.”

“You put spies in my agency?” Pierce asked, voice low and deadly. He gave Rumlow a look as if to ask why he hadn’t found out, but the man shrugged hesitantly, and Coulson chuckled into the phone.

“Skye, how is everything going?”

Loki nearly lost his footing, almost knocking a glass jug off the counter that Jane had to steady for him. Both Jane and Thor looked at him, just as surprised. Natasha didn’t seem bothered, her eyes on Rumlow.

“I see. Is Barnes there?”

“Fuckers!” Rumlow explain, throwing his hands up.

“Bucky?” Captain Rogers said in surprise.

“Yeah. Hey, we’re here, with Captain Rogers. No I’m not going to just call him Steve. Okay, wait—it’s for you.” Coulson held the phone out to Steve, who took it hurriedly after a moment and slapped it to his ear, pointing a thick finger at Pierce and Rumlow.

“Don’t move.” He said a second before addressing the person on the receiver.

“This is an outrage!” Pierce barked, “Barnes is one of yours?”

Coulson raised a superior brow. “He might have been a puppet, but he wasn’t yours.”

“I am almost getting lost here.” Jane said, looking around.

“Skye is your friend.” Thor said to Loki, who nodded numbly, glancing at Coulson who was happy to elaborate.

“She’s actually an undercover agent in training for the security division of SHIELD.”

“Fucking bitch,” Rumlow sneered, “I knew there was something off with her.”

“Hey buddy, watch what you say.” Tony warned.

“...She was spying on me too?” Loki asked softly. Coulson’s hoity expression softened and he tilted his head.

“Actually, no. Skye was situated to work under Grant Ward who works in the same sector as Rumlow, who as we can see is conveniently stuck far up his boss’s ass. Best place to find the intel, right?” He chuckled, apparently unafraid of the glower he was receiving from the Hydra members. Captain Rogers was still on the phone, hissing and throwing looks at said men. Coulson gave Loki a crooked smile. “Skye just couldn’t bear to turn you away when she found you.”

Loki flushed hot and cold at the same time, embarrassment and relief pouring in and clashing in the strangest of ways. Thor reached over and rubbed his shoulder in comfort, and he relished it internally, too shocked to move.

Just then Captain Rogers got off the phone, handing it back to Coulson, and looked up at Pierce with a look that no one ever wanted to receive from him. “Is there anything you wish to confess?”

“I don’t know what you heard, what those filthy spies have planted, but I can assure you it is all false!”

“I would be inclined to believe you Mr. Pierce, you’re well known and respected. But not trusted. I trust my friend more, and he’s got plenty to show me.”

“This is complete bullshit!” Pierce shouted, waving an arm out. “Complete and utter bullshit!”

Captain Rogers stepped forward, Rumlow doing the same in return, “I suggest you lower your tone. If you are innocent you have nothing to fear. But you’ll be coming with me now.”

“I will be going nowhere with you.”

“It will be now with your dignity intact, or later with a fully armed force. Your choice.”

No one was sure when or how it happened but Pierce stepped out of the way just as Rumlow struck out, nearly catching Captain Rogers by surprise. But he failed, and the officer decked him in face with a hefty right cross, throwing him into Natasha’s direction where he received an unexpected kick to the face, pointed tipped-heel to boot. Rumlow hit the floor like a sack of bricks, sprawled out in an undignified position. Everyone besides Coulson gave Natasha a long look, and she shrugged. 

Pierce was left stunned as his best man lay sprawled on the floor two shots later. Captain Rogers didn’t waste a moment in forcing Rumlow awake and up, handcuffing him whilst Coulson looked on with the weirdest cheerful expression on his face.

“It looks like you will be following me to the station after all.” Steve said, to which Coulson stepped forward, arm extended toward the door.

Pierce looked around in loathing, particularly at Tony and Thor, but grit his teeth and exited silently. Coulson followed immediately, and a second later Natasha followed, heels clicking and back straight to attention. Captain Rogers manhandled Rumlow toward the door himself, and tipped his head at the family left standing behind.

“I’ll be back tomorrow for a simple briefing. I’m sorry this had to happen in your home.”

“I’m glad it’s over.” Thor said, moving over to draw Jane into his arms, kissing her forehead. She hugged him close, clearly still stunned from all the tension and outright violence, then peaked over his chest for Loki who stood looking like a lost lamb. Thor didn’t need much of a hint to tug Loki in, making him disappear between his arm and his chest much like Jane. They were both tiny in comparison. Steve smiled and nodded again, and left.

 

Rather than leave with the rest, Tony Stark stuck behind to—if Loki understood it right— ‘help alleviate the awkwardness’. He was as good as he was bad at it, obvious in his actions but distracting everyone anyway. Loki remained in the kitchen when Jane went to sit in the living room, head in her hands as she calmed down. Thor took her a glass of water, not before sneaking Loki a caress on the cheek and a supportive smile that made Loki’s knees weak. Tony hovered between rooms, talking loudly about what was likely to happen with the case and how ingenious he was for creating his program called JARVIS that took down Pierce’s defences right under his nose in less than twenty-four hours. 

An hour later Natasha returned, joining Tony in the vote for drinks. Loki got two out of it on account of dodging a bullet, throwing them back with a grimace to calm his quivering inners. And an hour after that Coulson returned, grabbing the whole bottle from Tony and making himself at home. Thor gave Loki a quick peck on the cheek when no one was looking before encouraging him to join them in the living room where everyone reclined, making for a strange sight for Loki. He wasn’t used to being around so many people at once, especially not such powerful people as these. He was a nobody, every person in the room was brilliant and important and big—and he was none of those things. But Thor kept him tucked at his side nevertheless, and no one gave him one look to make him fret.

“At least Hammer Industries sticks with just mimicking a guy. Hydra out right steals the original. How embarrassing.” Tony said as he swirled his drink, reclined between Coulson and Natasha on the three-seater. “Though not as embarrassing as their security and backup systems. Honestly, you’d think they underestimated me. _Me_.”

“You’re not quite the man your father was.” Coulson said, gesturing to the silly pair of glasses on Stark’s head and the party outfit.

“I just know how and when to loosen up.”

“Which is always.” Natasha said, throwing her drink back.

Tony frowned at his own, then at Natasha, then Coulson. “...Is Natasha one of yours?”

“One of Fury’s actually. He wanted to make sure Hydra was the only one he had to fight. I’m happy to report you and Mr. Odinson passed the test.”

“Son of a bitch.”

Jane blinked, on the other side of Thor. “Is Darcy...?”

“No, she’s yours.” Coulson said, smiling in apology.

“Oh. Good. Good.”

From own his seat besides Thor Loki fiddled with his new certificate. Thor could sense he wanted to say something, so he nudged his knee with his own, and leaned over a little for a visual prompt. Loki looked into his eyes, shining crystals, then looked at Coulson who had the sharpness of a hawk, watching them in return.

“...How is this...Is it really...or...?”

“That—” Coulson pointed with a pull of his lips, “—is never to be spoken of again. I broke a few laws for that and I am _not_ proud of it.”

“Oh please, I just did the same all day yesterday.” Tony said with a burp. 

“I don’t know about you Mr. Stark, but covering up and aiding a relationship of this nature does not sit well with me. You owe me a _lot_ of favours.”

“There won’t be any more of that.” Loki said quickly, keeping his head down as he blushed, cringing lightly.

“I’ll personally make sure of that.” Jane added, to which Thor acknowledged by clearing his throat and throwing an arm over her shoulders at which she rolled her eyes, his face red and smiling like a little boy.

“I don’t think male chastity belts work in this—?” 

“ _Tony_!”

 

With a call that evening from Captain Rogers to confirm a briefing the next morning the crazy day finally came to end. Coulson left with a thanks and a good luck, helping Natasha escort Tony out who was as much the riot that Happy said he was when he was tipsy. It was hardly appropriate in their dilemma but appreciated nonetheless. He’d made Jane smile a few times, she looked exhausted, and Loki found himself staring at her stomach until she disappeared off upstairs with a sigh. Thor’s baby was in there. It gave Loki the weirdest bout of jealousy he had ever had, so he sneaked away as soon as he could for a moment of recluse, but Thor found him soon after.

“Exciting day.” Loki mumbled as Thor joined him on the balcony that overlooked the neighbourhood. Thor leaned with him on the rails and sighed.

“Far too exciting for an old guy like me.”

Loki smiled and bumped their elbows together. “Should’ve asked Mr. Stark to knock a few years off _your_ records.”

“Hmm. Would be great to be back in high school.”

“What?” Loki frowned at him, his nose scrunching up. “High school is a nightmare.”

“Seems like that at the time but it’s not.” Thor said, shaking his head. “I suppose it’s not ideal for some but it’s a lot easier than being out of it. Job hunting, rent, taxes, bills. It’s stressful. When you’re a young you don’t have to worry about that.”

Loki’s face pinched. “...You never had to job hunt, you took over your dad’s company.” 

Thor laughed. “Okay not me. But you understand.”

Loki smiled, but it softened and he looked away, memories of his home coming back to him. “...I never just had things handed to me. I always had to beg. One day I stopped, and... it didn’t get _better_. Got worse.”

“I’m not judging you. I never have.”

“You must have judged me. At least at first. Especially at first! We didn’t exactly meet in a park surrounded by squirrels.”

“And last time I checked _we_ meant the both of us, not just you. I bet you judged me too.”

“No.”

“Mmmh.”

“No. I never judged you. I just...admired you. You had everything. So confident and strong and flashy, and I...”

“I’m glad we met. I’m glad you texted me that night. I don’t think I could bear to think of you out there alone.”

“Well...if I hadn’t called I guess Happy and I would’ve kind of evolved and he would’ve proposed. He said he would—the last time we spoke. I don’t know if he was just blowing smoke or...but I’d have been okay. I made my way before you both.”

Thor grimaced at the thought and straightened up to touch Loki’s arm. “You don’t have to anymore.”

“Mrs. Foster really doesn’t mind?” Loki asked as he looked at the point of their connection, moving closer.

Thor welcomed him in his personal space, rubbing his arms with a sigh. “Jane...this is something I can’t disrespect, Loki. She’s given us a pass as long as we stick to her rules. But I don’t think we should be making out on the couch either.”

“So we _are_ going to be making out?” Loki teased with a flutter of his eyelashes, throwing a dazzling grin.

“When we make it past rule one.” Thor said, chuckling.

Loki sighed heavily. “I can’t wait that long. I have the libido of a rabbit.”

“Well, we can look into buying a few DIY toys...”

“Does touching count as sex—”

“Loki, no.”

“Fine.” Loki sighed. “Who is Amora?”

“Amora...I assume Natasha told you?”

“Just that she was your old PA. I heard it from Mr. Stark actually, that time in your office.”

“Ah. And that was a good time...” Thor teased in a low voice, leaning back with a smile that was most definitely taunting when Loki leaned in. 

“Mmh hmm.” Loki hummed, trying half heartedly for his lips.

“...Amora was infatuated with me. At first I thought she was interested in a quick fling. Jane and I...it was bad—not that it’s an excuse... I was angry and selfish and Amora was this stunning captivating woman. Everything about her made you stop and stare. She just had to click her fingers and you were at her beck and call. It was easy to have an affair with her. She was eager and always available being a metre outside my office door. But it just became too much. She wanted too much. It was all about her, about _us_. There could never be an _us_. She knew what it was to me but that was ‘ _unfair_ ’, I quote her. Says the woman who was knowingly sleeping with a married man.”

“Sounds clingy.” Loki mumbled, extremely glad he had never voiced his own clingy thoughts.

“She was a nightmare. And she was the last I ever even looked at...until you came along in those tight little pants acting like the sexiest thing on earth.”

The flattery was appreciated but not enough to dispel what he believed about himself. “...I can see why Jane is okay with _me_ , I mean...I am not very tough competition in comparison.”

“Hey,” Thor tugged Loki against him. “You are miles apart from Amora or any other fling. Jane was not the kind of woman I expected to marry but I did, and you’re not the person I expected to find love with again, but I did.”

“Love?” Loki asked softly, excited.

Thor brushed his hair back softly, smiling a handsome smile and shielding his body from the nippy wind. “I’ve always been a greedy man but having you near...it fills that gap. You complete me, Loki.”

“Th-that is so corny.” Loki said with tears in his eyes.

“How else do you think I won over Jane?” Thor grinned, “She wasn’t exactly the jock-dating kind of girl.”

“So you’re actually going to just keep us both? Just like that?” Loki asked, his voice high.

Thor’s face fell. “I don’t think that will be feasible. I doubt Jane will ever trust me again with her heart and I don’t want to let her down again. But I really do need to try mend things over with her. We were getting somewhere, but then you popped up and I got distracted. I think I’ll use these four months to do just that. We’ll never be like we used to, but I never wanted to admit that until having you became a possibility.”

“So I won’t…I won’t have to leave?”

“No Loki.”

“Can we fuck on my birthday?”

“Baby.” Thor said sternly.

Despite the reprimanding tone it still made Loki’s groin stir and hair stand. He mewled on instinct, crumpling forward. “Daddy.”

“Fuck,” Thor grunted, leaning over and hovering an inches from Loki’s mouth. Loki closed his eyes, panting hard as he waited. He could feel Thor’s breath against him, the warmth of his lips so close. But they never met, and Thor gave him a poor substitute by kissing him on the cheek, hands squeezing his arms.

The temptation to turn his face and capture Thor’s lips was near painful—but so was the effort Thor had put to resist. So he backed down, swallowing thickly and lowering his face.

“I don’t think you’re a child,” Thor said softly against the side of his face, “But I don’t think we should fool around either. It’s just four months.”

“All right, fine.”

“We’ll do something special on your birthday, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Don’t pout.” Thor tapped his cheek. “We’ll go somewhere fun, anywhere you want.”

“...Can we take the limo again?”

“You just want to have sex in it don’t you?”

“Yes. Can we?”

Thor sighed heavily, but there was a naughty smirk on his face to reassure Loki that he was still Thor’s, even now. “Looks like we’ll be taking two rides.”

“I—” Loki stopped short, wanting so bad to say it, to say how he felt. But did he truly feel it? Was it something else, appreciation, thankfulness? Was it actually love? What if he was mistaken, infatuated and in lust, how would he know? Wouldn’t Thor think him silly for saying such a thing? Maybe it was over stepping the boundary. 

Thor might have realised what he wanted to say. His face smoothed out before he frowned and turned his own face away in some strange form of shame.

“Loki…I know I can’t expect your trust. With all I’ve done to my marriage it makes it seem ridiculous that I will swear myself to you. So I won’t ask for it, just for a chance to be a better man. I don’t need anyone but you, if you want me too.”

“I do.” Loki breathed, crinkling his fingers in Thor’s shirt. Thor looked down and smiled, then wrapped his tanned hands over Loki’s. They were large and solid, sprinkled with dark blond hair and veins. It was a contrast to Loki’s own, slender and pale and no where as hairy as he was certain Thor was at his age. “I like your big hands.” He mumbled randomly.

“All the better to hold you with.” Thor said with a chuckle as he pulled Loki back in for a crushing hug. Loki revelled in it and closed his eyes as Thor absorbed it all away, if only for the moment, all his fears and worries.

“Hey...”

Loki jerked away guiltily, hating it, but held onto the cuff of Thor’s sleeve stubbornly. Jane stood in the archway to the balcony, a drink in her hands, her eyes tired. Thor, to Loki’s happiness, didn’t move or push Loki away. 

“Jane.” Thor said calmly as if Loki wasn’t currently looking away like a guilty child, holding onto his clothing like a lifeline.

“Can we talk?” she asked, glancing at Loki. “I think now is a good a time as any.”

“Yeah, we should.” Thor wrapped his arm around Loki’s shoulder, bringing his attention back over. “That okay?”

Loki glanced up at Thor and shyly at Jane, shrugging and finding interest back in his shoes. Thor chuckled, giving him a squeeze. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

The living room was much warmer than the cold wind outside even with the alcohol in their systems. When they sat down Loki tried to make some space between him and Thor, while Jane sat across from them, on the edge of her seat and elbows on her knees.

“Thank God for Tony and Phil.” She said, after an awkward moment.

“Yes. And—...and thank you.” Thor said softly, adopting her position. Loki sat as he was, trying to sink into the chair and disappear. 

Jane smiled half heartedly, glancing periodically at her knees. She exhaled loudly, her cheeks ballooning and shoulders falling. 

Thor tried to say something, but failed and looked away, fiddling with his fingers. It created another awkward moment that made Loki extremely uncomfortable and suddenly unwelcomed. He looked desperately between them, then to the door, but back again.

“Okay, look,” Jane started, sighing again. “As soon as Loki is eighteen you two can do whatever you want. I don’t really care. I mean—I do, but...it won’t be my business. But I think...I think I need a divorce Thor.”

Thor swallowed, nodding at her. “I understand.”

“But I’m pregnant, and if you don’t mind I don’t want to deal with that and moving out right now.”

“No, of course not. This is your home, Jane,” Thor said, worriedly. He sighed this time, rubbing his forehead. “Jane, you don’t have to...you don’t have to leave, you don’t have to feel obliged to leave, not if you’re not ready to. This is your house too.”

“I don’t want things weird either. So can we all unanimously agree that we’ll be living together like three normal people for the time being?”

“Yes.” Thor said, glancing at Loki who went pink.

“Yes?” he tried, unconvincingly.

“Look, Loki, you’ll be an adult soon. Then you can do whatever the heck you want with Thor, you don’t have to look at me like that and I won’t look at you. We’ll be divorced by the time you even think of a marriage of your own. But I see no reason why we can’t get along. Even be friends.”

Loki struggled to reply, it was already weird, but she cut him off before he could get the words out.

“Don’t say ‘sorry’. Please, just, don’t. Thor and I are officially breaking up so we’re not going to fight over that. A divorce will take a while and I can’t promise my pregnancy or the thing that comes after it won’t be a pain. But if I can handle this thing here, surely you can handle that?”

“I can,” Loki got out, clearing his throat. “I can. I...thank you? I mean...I won’t be ungrateful. You’re being far too kind on us.” What possessed him to say that he had no idea, but it made Jane smile and nod.

“Yeah, I know. But I am a nice person, what would you know.”

“You’re a wonderful person, Jane.” Thor said, with stunning reverence. She smiled wider this time, but returned her gaze back to Loki.

“From what Darcy has told me you can be a pretty great friend. I’d like to get to know that side of you. If it’s too weird for you then that’s fine too, but you are going to have some patience before I leave.”

“No, no I—you don’t have to—this is your home. I don’t—I’d rather leave if it would make things easier for you. I-I mean you’re pregnant. If this will stress you—I can just, go back and live with Darcy.” Skye was moving out now that her ‘assignment’ was over, Loki did want to see her first though.

Jane grimaced lightly. “Darcy...she will be leaving in a month’s time to live on campus. We can pay your rent but you’ll be alone—”

“No.” He cut in, hiding his face in his hands as the shame ran through him. “I can’t ask that...”

“If you’d prefer that Loki it’s fine,” Thor added, reaching out to rub his back. “But it will also be okay if you stay here.”

“We’ll all have our own rooms.” Jane said, shrugging with a carelessness that wasn’t entirely believable. “There are enough bedrooms. Thor and I both work so you will have the house to yourself. I can’t promise a set dinner though, that’s always been a lost cause in this house.”

Thor smiled sadly at her, hands back to worrying each other. “Thank you, Jane.”

“Thank you for not dragging this out.” She said.

“I promise to be good.” Loki blurted, going red immediately. He would be a tomato in the morning.

“It’s okay,” Thor said, shifting closer and pulling him into a loose one-armed hug. “It’s okay.”

“I won’t...I won’t make trouble. I promise.” If not fucking Thor even on his birthday meant he could be with Thor, suddenly it felt like a small thing to give up. He had nothing else to give up in any case.

“Loki,” Jane said, “It _is_ okay. Thor and I have had problems for a while now. It’s not your fault.”

“But your divorce is.” Loki said, blinking back tears. This was all so ridiculous, he should be genuinely happy, giddy, smirking in his head. But it wasn’t like he thought it would be, all he could think of was that Thor’s child would have divorced parents because of him, and that maybe he wasn’t worth all of this effort in the first place.

“It was the push we needed. _I_ needed.” She said, nodding as if to reassure herself. “I am ready for this. But I won’t say no to a little help with the baby. It’s not exactly my area of expertise.” She laughed nervously, her own eyes now shining with tears. Loki swelled with guilt and looked at Thor, but he was way ahead and already on his feet, drawing her into a hug. But then she let out a sob, and Loki’s own wall broke. They both started crying, leaving Thor at a loss. Loki flapped a hand at him when it looked like he was unsure of who to hug, wiping his tears away himself, 

“S-sorry. Hormones.” Jane blubbered over his shoulder.

“Bring it on.” Thor joked, hugging her tightly. 

It was strange that seeing that didn’t make Loki as jealous as he thought it would, it only reinforced the notion that Thor would never be purposely cruel to him. He was a kind man despite his flaws. He was a man with big problems, but so was Loki, and if they could work through it together, he would be happy.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	2. Four’s a Party (who doesn’t love a party)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conclusion to my _Destructive Tendencies can be Delicious_ series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just went its own way. It’s probably not what you imagined, nor mine, but it wrote itself and I wasn’t about to argue.
> 
>  
> 
> _I apologize for errors_

** Four’s a Party (who doesn’t love a party) **

 

_Six years later_

“Sir, don’t forget you have to make a call on the zoning proposal from Pym Industries.”

“God, they don’t stop coming do they.”

“It’s business Mr. Odinson, not a virus outbreak. Mr. Stark called again. He said to tell you that he’s two weeks ahead of the Reactor Project so whenever you want to start he’s ready.”

“Ah huh…”

“And Mr. Hammer signed off on the martini aluminium glasses. Apparently he likes them.”

Thor sighed heavily, rolling his eyes in tandem and dropping his expensive black pen. It rolled away quickly, almost as if reading his thoughts. He reclined back in his chair to look at his assistant, eyes on her backside. “Speaking of hammer, Sigyn come here.”

Sigyn looked up, drawing her StarkPad to her chest like she always did when he adopted that _special_ tone. “Sir?” she asked, voice a mere breath. 

Thor crooked his finger, beckoning her until she was around his desk and staring at him, pink lips plastered shut. He took her StarkPad and dropped in carelessly on his table, swivelling his chair enough to face her. “On my lap,” he ordered, yanking her by the arm when she stalled, looking towards the door. She stumbled inelegantly, her heels ridiculous, and fell into his lap. She wiggled, looking away, but he was having none of it and tugged her close against his chest. “That’s it. Enough business. How are _you_?”

“You didn’t hire me to talk about me…” she mumbled, squeezing her knees together as his hand roamed around her skirted thighs.

“I hired you because I like the curve of your arse, that’s why.” He said, holding her by the swell of her buttocks as he worked his other hand up her skirt. “How is the husband?”

“He’s okay…”

“That’s all? Just okay? God, that is depressing.”

“S-sir, I need to finish up—”

“What? Finish up what? I’m the boss, and I say you can do it later. Right now I need you here.” He turned his face and smelt the junction of her soft neck, humming as the subtle sweetness of her perfume filled his nose. She made a familiar small noise in the back of her throat but otherwise remained quiet. He squeezed her as the scent reached his fingers and toes. “You smell so good, baby. When last did your husband get you off?”

“Mr. Odinson…” she flushed red and looked away. He caught her chin and turned her face back, admiring how her sleek hair fell around her sharp face.

“I see the way you been walking, wriggling your arse, hoping I’d catch the hint. Need a good dicking, baby? Yeah you do. You still on the pill?”

She blinked, breathing picking up. “Y-yes. Why? I have—” She reached for the pocket on her shirt with shaking hands where Thor knew laid a few condoms.

He cut her short by plastering on a quick wet kiss. “Because I am going to screw you over this table and no, we’re not using that shit. You’re going to go home with a cunt full of my cum today.” Everyone else was gone for the day, it was just the two of them.

As always she moaned, eyes fluttering at the thought. She squirmed on his lap, looking up from below her lashes like she always did, shifting more and more onto his growing erection. He couldn’t help responding verbally, guttural and grinding up against her. 

“Like that? You like when I talk like that? Are you getting wet? Getting my favourite hole ready for me?”

Sigyn turned her face into his neck and keened, fingers clinging to his clothing as she started panting and squirming harder, no doubt starting to soak her panties. “Fuck…I need it. I do, Mr. Odinson. Balder is useless…I need you sir, please. Fuck me!”

“Where? You got so many delicious little holes to choose from.” He teased.

“My cunt! Fuck!”

“Such a dirty little slut. And everyone thinks you’re so decent, so innocent.”

“I w-was…but then _you_ …you…”

“But then I tore out that bun and fucked you real good. You never looked back did you? Get up, hands on the table. Open your fucking legs.”

They were standing in an instant. Or rather Thor was, and guided her shaky limbs to bend over his table. She pushed her hips back brazenly, head hung and eyes scrunched. “Oh God…” she gasped, moaning loudly as he took hold of her hips and ground his clothed erection against her. “Fuck I need you so bad…” she sobbed towards the desk.

“I expect a thank you after this. I fuck my own wife at home—” he gestured flippantly to the pretty picture frame on his desk of him and Loki, “then I have to come to work and fuck someone else’s wife? I don’t get paid for this.”

“Please…please…Daddy…”

Thor reached to cup her chest, popping open the small buttons so he could grab her breasts, a thin layer of cotton from her bra separating them. He weighed them in his palms as she panted, squeezing leisurely and meeting her backside in slow, meaningful movements. “Look at these tits. Just waiting to be filled up with milk.” The thought made him smirk, and made her moan. “You know what? I like that idea.” He released her chest in favour of raking his fingers in her hair, pulling her head up so he could cover her body with his and growl into her ear. “Want my cock Sigyn? Mmh? Want this fat dick in your greedy pussy?”

“Yes! Yes! Please!” 

”Then you have to do something for me. I want you to promise or I’ll kick you out right now.”

“Okay! Okay…I p-pro—”

“Shh…shhh…I haven’t told you yet.”

“What must I d-do?”

“I’ll fuck you like you need it if you swear to stop your birth control.”

“…Sir?”

“I want to fill your cunt so much that you end up pregnant. Then these” he grabbed her chest again, kissing around her neck, “will fill up with milk as you grow round and I want to fucking be there when you admit to your husband how much of a slut you are for me.”

Sigyn was trembling like a leaf, continuously lifting her arse and spreading her heeled feet to urge Thor to just get on with it. “Shit…yes, I promise! I promise. I swear! I want your baby!”

Thor chuckled, a tone softer than he meant, but covered it with a tight slap to her rear. “Damn right you do, wet little minx.”

He stood up straight, lamenting the loss of her warmth but made quick work of hiking her tight skirt up. She wore a plain beige spandex panty, not the sexiest but the easiest to pull aside when he spread her cheeks with his thumbs. He stared for a moment, humming low in his chest just to make her flush, then used one hand to release himself and rub his length along the crack of her arse.

“Fuck, you really have a great arse. I could eat that all day...” He grunted, using two fingers to feel her wetness.

She groaned in response, arching her back impatiently. 

Thor could tell his partner was getting frustrated, and while he loved to tease at times like this, they had a time limit to keep. Still, Thor could never resist the chance to press his face between Loki’s cheeks and worm his tongue into the fluttering hole, pinching with his thumbs to keep his cheeks obscenely spread.

The taste of lube greeted him. Not his favourite taste, but not enough to hamper his zest in the least as he lapped like a thirsty dog, working with the slick to drive wriggle his tongue as far as it would go, nibbling on the already puffy rim until he had made a whimpering mess of the beauty beneath him. He worked two fingers in, testing the elasticity before he lost anymore of the control he was pretending to have. 

“N- _now_...!” came the soft order from below, legs straightening one last time like a mare ready for breeding. 

“Alright then baby, here you go,” he said when he finally positioned his cock and pushed in. As always it was like a glove, warm and snug and more than enough to drive him crazy. He dropped his head back and groaned, barely hearing the moan underneath him. 

“Always like glove.” He sighed, never getting over how beautifully his assistance stretched around him.

“Yesssssss...” Sigyn growled, voice quite a few octaves deeper than it was a moment ago.

Thor chuckled and pumped in at leisure, pampered and made lazy by his darling’s beforehand preparations.

“Ah fuck. Put your back into it.”

Thor didn’t even have the breath to laugh let alone reply, doing exactly what was asked and securing a hand on both shoulders and ramming in like he was asked. His reward was a broken moan and intense gyration of hips unlike anyone he had ever met or been with before. It was both simultaneously easy and hard to keep his little minx satisfied, and more than easy to keep himself satisfied. And really, it always had been. Loki had been an angel since day one and he would do anything for him, and vice versa. This was why Loki was currently dressed as a woman, equipped with a realistic set of breasts attached to him like a bra. Expensive and custom made for comfort, but worth every penny.

They didn’t take long, both checking the time constantly after getting carried away. Thor pulled out when he was done but didn’t move any further, content with leaning over Loki’s back and nuzzling his neck

“...These are really realistic.” Thor said, giving the boobs a last few squeezes.

Beneath him Loki made a noise of agreement, sounding winded and already sleepy, wiggling his hips. “They don’t sweat like the others. Now get off me.”

“Sorry, baby. I just can’t get enough of you.” Thor said with a pout, giving Loki’s shoulder one last kiss before he gave him space to stand.

Once he could stand Loki did so with a loud groan and a carefree laugh, pulling off the blouse and wiggling off the skirt. “Charmer. Come on, put on deodorant. I know the place is gonna smell like cake and puke but you tend to reek after sex. _Of_ sex.”

“Proudly, it gets you hard for round two. Keep those on.” Thor gestured to the strap-on breasts as Loki pulled it off.

As expected Loki gave him a look as though he were mad. “Thor we’re going to your daughter’s birthday party. Not Tony’s.”

“Right… No way in hell will you wear those around Tony either.” 

Loki, naked and flushed with dribbles of cum flecked down his thighs, turned his face down and grinned in that evil way. “Why? Scared you’ll become Balder?”

Thor growled, grabbing his arms and rubbing his nose down the side of Loki’s face. “In Balder’s dreams.”

They really were on a tight schedule so Loki pushed him away, grabbing the cloth set out on his actual clothes. He started cleaning up what he could, giving Thor a pinched look when he just tucked himself away, grinning like a little boy. As soon as Loki was redressed in his actual clothes and they’d washed their hands they left the office and locked up—everyone was already gone, an early day as Thor’s treat.

“Tony said he’s on track for 2 o’ clock and Nat is with Mr. Smith as we speak.” Loki said as they went through the parking lot, checking his phone.

Thor grinned again, brighter than usual today and Loki couldn’t blame him. “Meredith is going to freak out. This is going to make dad so jealous.”

“Odin did make a cool Santa, even with his initial grumbling. Merry loved it.”

“Apparently time travelling doctors are all the rage with little girls today. Poor Santa.”

“She’s her mother’s daughter. They’re going to find the secret of the universe together someday. Now come on.”

“I’m surprised you can still walk.”

“Your ego never fails to surprise.”

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Jane and Thor had a bouncing baby girl. 

She was born during a thunderstorm in the afternoon, but it was no match for Jane’s screaming. One minute they’re all having breakfast in the mall, the next Jane is in labour. Thor rushed them to Dr. Banner who had been prepared for two weeks now, seeing as the baby was a week over due—the sex left unknown for the surprise. The rest of the morning was spent hovering near Jane in the pristine, white room. As skin-crawling as it was to hear all the details and sounds from Jane to do with the whole child-birth thing, Loki enjoyed watching Thor trying to calm and reassure her—it was heart-warming and another reminder that this man had a good heart despite his faults. Jane didn’t really need his comforts though, which made it funnier, he was panicking more than she was, hounding Bruce and his nurses every five minutes. 

When it came time to push Jane did take whatever support Thor was offering and sprained his hand by the time the first cry of the newborn was heard. Loki kept his eyes glued to them the whole time, sitting to the side, knee jerking and shoulders tense. It was a frightening but exciting moment even though they’d had months to come to terms with this. The spare room was cleaned up and baby-proofed, and per Jane’s request themed as the galaxy. Thor ordered in only the best decorators and by the time it was done Loki wanted his own room to look like that. 

They called her Meredith after a month of indecision on Jane’s part, and she was perfect. Brown hair and blue eyes, confident and sharp as a blade, one could easily see both Thor and Jane when they looked at her, inside and out. The change of having a baby in the house was odd, especially when realizing this little lump was going to grow up and become a person, but the change properly distracted them all from lingering concerns. Jane had something else to think of and do rather than trying to give Loki and Thor space, but in the same way it kept both males busy as well. And if there was anything that lowered Loki’s sex drive it was the smell of baby and Jane’s perfume, which was in abundance whenever he was in the same room as either. By the time she was born Loki was eighteen and legal to screw around with Thor, but with Jane heavily pregnant, emotional and crying over molecules and the frustrating mysteries of dark matter Loki unanimously agreed with Thor that they hold off on any dallying anywhere near her. That didn’t count for his birthday though which they spent two towns over, getting drunk and fucking until Loki was genuinely sore.

Meredith had a set of lungs on her and as warned made sure to wake up the household a dozen times a night the first few months. Thor was a heavy sleeper, it usually took a bomb to get him up, so Loki ended up taking a few of his shifts out of kindness. And to relieve the awkwardness of Jane being let down by the both of them. Jane returned to work after the third month of birth (not that she hadn’t still _worked_ from home), leaving Loki with more nightshifts than usual. But the more he held little Meredith the more he didn’t mind. It helped that she didn’t fight him whenever he came to consol her, if anything it made him secretly giddy that she liked him. Jane was often too busy and scatterbrained to properly focus on Merry, leading to Loki stepping in and filling that place. Apparently babies could sense emotions, and if so Loki didn’t want her to feel neglected—and he knew Jane wouldn’t either. He knew what that felt like and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Diapers were his least favourite chore, but then it was a shared sentiment, and Loki couldn’t lie and say he got more turns than they did. His most favourite chore was simply watching her. Jane would feed her, wrap her up and hand her to Loki, leaving him to watch TV with the bundle of Merry in the crook of his arm. She was a good baby once the first few months went by, fussing only when she was hungry, wet or bored. The older she got the more challenging it became to watch her, especially when Loki was home-schooling, but one look at her face and you couldn’t be upset. 

Within two years from moving in with Thor Loki finished school, and in the next got his driver’s license—and of course celebratory car sex. Staring at the paper proof of his accomplishments was far more uplifting that Loki thought it would be, he was finally doing things right. Jane had been a great help with math and science and Thor was always there to try help in everything else, even if they ended up in a hot mess rather than to an answer. But it was more than Loki’s own family ever did, and Loki burst into tears one evening when watching Matilda and thinking on it. It was one of many nights, many of which he tried to keep to himself.

When Meredith was three Jane finally filed for divorce, but she didn’t leave the house. Loki did move into Thor’s room, and that was that. Quite a few times Loki got to witness how Thor and Jane would come to butt heads when disagreeing over Meredith; he could only imagine how bad it must have been before all of this. At times like that he would slink away from the both of them, taking Merry with to waddle around in a quiet place and fiddle with all the important stuff. She didn’t need to hear them bitching like an old ex-married couple. He was far too concerned for her than he thought he should be, but he just didn’t want her to become what he had, empty and lonely and so needy for arms even with a sneer.

His life had really turned around for the better. He had friends and family now, people who cared about him as much as he cared about them. It was new in both ways. And Thor never did force him to ‘face’ his past, and Loki was grateful for it. Some people were just horrible and would never change. Though Thor and Tony did bait him into having a few awkward words with Happy; if just to explain things to his face. It wasn’t the most comfortable of conversations, Happy was rather unsettled by the whole age thing, but Loki had always been a few years ahead in his, well...head. Loki had always aged himself with his maturity rather than physical age, he had been smart and careful enough to fool Happy and that was proof. It wasn’t much of a comfort to Happy, but he didn’t seem very upset about Loki not sticking by him. He looked relieved if anything, and Loki realised he was too.

As for Loki’s future, three years after joining the household Loki was encouraged to start aiming towards a career. It was simple now seeing as he could afford the bills with Thor standing behind him, but it didn’t mean he wanted to waste the money either. He had never known what he wanted to do about his future, and thinking about it for hours didn’t seem to make any progress even in this life. He pondered and pondered for months, stalling and stalling until one day Thor came home complaining about the intern he was trying as his latest PA—and then it clicked. He loved Thor. He had come to realise that in simple things, like the way his heart skipped a beat when Thor smiled, or when he went shopping thinking of fixing Thor’s favourite meal for dinner, so why not work with him and close the circle? Natasha had only stayed for a couple months afterwards until Thor found someone else but they could never match up to her, and Loki couldn’t figure out why he hadn’t thought of it before.

When he brought it up, Thor was just as comically surprised, and to Loki’s relief, eager. Dirty office sex was of course one of the first things that jumped into their ‘pros’ list, but overall it was a great idea. Loki didn’t want to study and branch out, he still had years of low self-esteem and bad experiences settled in his gut, they didn’t just go away even with a new life. He wanted to be near Thor and the thought of being his PA excited him more than any other career he considered. He’d make the best PA for Thor anyway, and he secretly loved to watch Thor do business and intimidate his clients and partners, be that big intimidating man he had first met.

Thankfully Jane gave it her blessing, but reminded him that it was never too late to change his mind—and that was one thing he loved about them both. They rarely gave him ultimatums. The first ultimatum Jane gave him all those years ago was really a no brainer, of course he would agree. But ever since Jane had been nothing but understanding, often sitting and talking quietly with him until he felt like he was capable of a little more.

Now three years later of being Thor’s PA Loki was a pro, on top of everything—including Thor. He was happy, Thor was happy, Jane was happy and most importantly Meredith was happy. She was six years old today and in for some big treats.

They arrived home in the designated time, a few cars parked outside for the parents of the little guests who chose to stay. They had moved house a year after Meredith turned two, getting a four bedroom house with both a front and backyard and a pool. Loki was immediately in love with it, especially his and Thor’s room. This one truly felt like theirs, no signs or memories of Jane and she stayed clear of it. It was their little place of sanctity to enjoy each other in peace. At least until Meredith started running around.

The front garden was littered with glitter and all kinds of rubbish, as well as random pieces of kiddie clothing and toys. Thor was going to have to hire a truck to clean this up. They pulled into the garage and entered into the house through the adjoining door, immediately nearly knocked over by three kids who were screaming at the top of their lungs. It had surprised Loki when he realised that Thor was good with kids, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Thor was definitely better than him, it had taken him all of Meredith’s life to be able to make silly faces and chase her through the halls of the house roaring like a monster. Thor was a pro from the get go, filling the house with Meredith’s sweet laughter.

Loki let Thor lead the way into the child-infested house, Thor having worn a less expensive suit on account of the multitude of sticky fingers. A few of the little kids greeted them, running this way and that, until they found the heart of the gathering in the rec room where Meredith sat with a group of girls and boys, all watching The Lego Movie. But Thor knew how to fill a room and Merry spotted him in a second, jumping up and dashing into his arms.

“Daddy!”

“Hey sweetheart! See daddy made it, you were worrying for nothing.” Thor said, lifting and swinging her. She giggled loudly, ever the happy child. When he put her down she lifted the sides of her dress and swirled.

“Daddy look at my dress!”

“Wow! Is this the secret dress mommy got for you?”

“Yes!”

She had on a Doctor Who themed dress—Dalek, to be specific. Not one a usual little girl would have, but it made her all the more special. Loki pursed his lips, expression exaggerated. “I thought Dalek’s were the bad guys. Do we have to call Policeman Rogers?”

Merry giggled. “No! I will be their queen and show them how to be good!”

Loki bowed. “What a noble and just quest, milady.”

Merry giggled again, looking thoroughly proud of her dress and all the admiring eyes on her. She looked more like Jane everyday.

Thor petted her cheek. “That is a big task. The Doctor would be proud. We’re super proud.”

“Thanks, daddy.”

Over their shoulders the front door banged open and a few seconds later two new guests arrived, one holding a small package and sporting a ridiculous dramatic expression. 

“Nobody panic! But I’ve arrived.” Tony announced. Pepper chuckled and rolled her eyes over his shoulder.

“Please excuse him. He’s overly excited.”

“Tony! Great timing.” Thor said.

“Good grief this is a lot of kids. Do we need so many?” Tony asked as he looked around, ducking to the side to avoid a pink cupcake. 

“It’s a little girl’s birthday party, Tony. Lord knows how many wild young things you’ve had at _your_ birthday parties.” Pepper said, brow raised.

Loki sniggered. “Burn.”

Just then from the kitchen Jane popped out, apron on and hair wild. She was full of sweet foods, a stray brush of flour on her cheek. “Oh! You guys are back. Hey Pepper. Tony! Where is it? Is that it?” she asked excitedly, pointing to the package in his hand. It was neatly wrapped in silver foil with a gold bow, far from intriguing to a child but beautiful nonetheless.

Tony shook it, smiling one of his more genuine smiles. “This is it.” 

“What is it?” Merry asked, craning her neck. Soon she wouldn’t be able to, despite her face she was going to be tall like her father.

Tony hovered it tauntingly above her head. “The key to the universe.”

While her attention was elsewhere Pepper leaned over to Jane to whisper. “He has a bunch of guys installing the other thing now. Maybe keep the kids inside…?”

“Right! Er, Darcy! Help?” Jane called, looking around at all the kids with a helpless expression. She turned out to be a great mother, but for her own one child, not two dozen.

Immediately Darcy appeared from the kitchen, dressed up as Clara Oswald, the Eleventh Doctor’s companion. She pulled it off successfully in Loki’s opinion.

“Yeah? Oh, hey everyone.” Darcy waved, sharing a grin with Meredith who was over the moon with her cosplay. Both Skye and Darcy were extended aunties, as were Natasha and Pepper. Loki was part of the uncle team, along with Tony, Bruce and Coulson, the latter of whom had already put in a word for Merry to his boss for their future business in their science division.

Tony frowned at Darcy’s attire, glancing around belatedly. “Is this an actual themed party? Should we have come dressed up or…?”

“Oh, I just need to look the part if I am going to get lucky.” Darcy said, popping a few eye balls.

Jane whacked at her, missing by an inch. “Darcy! What the hell?”

“Get lucky with what?” Meredith asked.

Loki cut in before Jane could babble. “Eating all the ice cream without getting a headache. To the lounge, now? Maybe?” 

Grateful, Jane nodded, making shooing motions with her hands. “Yes, er Darcy, get the kids to the living room. Keep them there.” Loki helped to inconspicuously block the windows where Stark Construction guys were busy setting up a rather fucking awesome gift than Loki was going to crawl in the second Meredith was asleep.

“Sure thing. Okay you little cute Adiposes, everyone to the living room!”

The movie was paused and all the kids filed out towards the front of the house. They seemed taken with Darcy and she was good with coordinating them, clearly giving Jane a big break as she sighed, pushing her hair out of her face. Thor smiled at her, and six years down the line Loki no longer felt threatened or challenged by it.

“Thank you for coming, and thank you Tony for everything. She is going to love this.” Jane said, taking the present from him, her own excitement barely concealed in her eyes.

Tony shrugged, a cute one-sided smile on his face. “Might as well spoil someone’s kid as practice. Besides, Thor has organized an even better surprise.”

Behind her Loki bit his lip, trying not to smile as Jane’s eyes widened. “Really? How could it possibly get better?”

“Oh you’ll see. I still can’t believe it.” Loki said, remembering how big this actually was. He still couldn’t get used to the power and contacts these people had.

Jane lifted her hands, throwing a half-heartedly glare around. “Why am I the only one who doesn’t seem know?” Even Darcy knew.

“Because I want to see your face too.” Thor replied, patting her arm. This surprised and quietened her down, but Skye filled the void.

“Loki! Get your butt in here and help.” She called from the kitchen.

Loki smiled his temporary departing and went into the kitchen. He stopped dead, gawking at the surrounding area. Every possible surface was covered in some kind of platter or plate, cakes and treats and snacks galore. The kitchen was big, even to Thor’s apparent standard, but it looked downright cramped now. In the midst of it all was Skye looking much like Jane, full of flower and food colouring. 

“Hey. Wow. That is a lot of snacks.” He said.

She blew air out of her cheeks, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. “You have no idea how much sugar I have devoured today.”

“I thought you were supposed to have super self control or something.”

“Apparently not against pink cupcakes.”

“Gimme one.” He held out his hand, taking the one she gave him and stuffing it in his mouth. The taste was immediate and incredible, bursting with favour and the good ole taste of food made from scratch. “Oh damn, these are good. …What?” She was staring at him, her eyes narrowed in a familiar way that always brought him back to the days when he was living with her in their crummy apartment, which had just been a ruse to lower Grant Ward’s guard. If she had never found him Loki was not sure where he would be today, and he didn’t like to think of that. 

“You have that fucked out look, tell me you didn’t.” She said, making him choke on the last swallow. They stared at one another until his silence confirmed it.

“Loki! You were late for that?” 

He patted his chest, trying to get the cupcake down his gullet faster. “Hey, we weren’t late. We said around two and now it’s two. And you try having a s-e-x life with a kid around who makes absolutely no sound when she’s creeping around trying to find monsters. We’ve given up trying at home, she already caught us once and thank god we had clothes on. She’s getting too big now to fool her, she’s growing up.”

Skye snorted, handing him two bowls that needing cleaning. “And you still want your own?”

He took them to the dishwasher, putting them in carefully as he thought about it. “I didn’t say it wouldn’t be irritating at times. I just…really enjoyed being around for Meredith.” It wasn’t that it surprised him, it just...surprised him. He’d never had much of a childhood of his own, nor had he even bothered to think about having kids of his own let alone having them and being a horrid parent. But he grew with Meredith over the years and the thought of his own child had crept up on him in the last year, especially with all those new advances in science, and of course the many overflowing orphanages.

Skye watched him with a crooked smile. “For what it’s worth, I bet you’d make a fine dad. Or mom.”

“Oh God, you must see this new pair of boobs Thor got me.”

“Better than the last ones? No chaffing?”

“So much better. …Nice and soft for a baby to sleep on…”

Perceptive as always Skye meandered around the middle counter and grabbed his hands, shaking them lightly. “Hey, you’ll make a great parent even without boobs. You don’t have to be perfect. Just…love. That’s all you need. You won’t be like your folks.”

“Thanks Skye.”

“And you’ll have an awesome Godmother right here waiting to help.”

“You’re really the best.”

 

**XxXxXxXxX**

At two thirty the party was in full swing. There was music in the background and food everywhere else. First there was dancing, all the couches pushed here and there to make a dance floor for the many little feet to tap away. Meredith was of course in the centre of it all, shaking her hips to wave the bottom of her dress around and knock the others out of the way as a result. The adults joined too, parents dancing with their children. Loki and Skye danced together, and Jane and Darcy teamed up. Tony didn’t shirk the opportunity and had his own platform where he tried to do robot-style, tickling Pepper and the kids breathless. Thor seemed to have his own party going on, five kids literally hanging from his person as he bounced around, pretending they weren’t there.

When everyone was winded Skye Darcy and Loki brought out a few cheese and sardine covered snacks, sugar filled drinks as a top up. But as all the kids sat and munched it was present time. Meredith had been a good girl avoiding the substantial pile in the corner of the room, so Thor took pity on her and carried her over the dozen bodies to where she become the topic of acute interest. Jane jumped her way over with an equally as eager expression, one only a parent could have at a time like this. It was something Loki envied in the strangest way. His own folks had never bought him special presents and looked all giddy just to see his little face light up. But he had long gotten over that, now he just craved to do it for his own child.

Twenty presents in total not including the two secret ones. Many were simple toys from the attending parents and their children, the rest from Meredith’s family and extended family. Skye and Darcy had gotten her a complete set of action figures from the Doctor Who series. Jane had gotten her the latest Pokemon Nintendo game and a self made chemistry/astrology set. Pepper had gotten her a custom made necklace with the Odinson crest, Mjölnir, to which Bruce (though he couldn’t make it, much like Coulson) chipped in for a matching set of crested books—diaries, schedule books, scrap books and the like seeing as Meredith was quite the little thinker herself and loved to pretend she had an office like mommy and daddy. 

Tony’s present of course was the last to be revealed (other than Thor’s), his neatly wrapped little box. Jane was besides herself with excitement, bouncing and nearly shoving all the other gifts out of the way so Meredith could open Tony’s, which of course inflated Tony’s head two sizes. Jane and Loki were the ones to come up with the idea in the first place, but Tony was the only one to be able to create it for them. Sure they could have bought one off the internet, but anything with the name Stark on it was a thousand times better in quality.

All the excitement from her mother didn’t go over her head, and Meredith opened the box carefully, glancing worriedly at her mother as if opening it was a complicated task. But once the lid came off she was on her feet and squealing, shrieking along with Jane as she whipped out her very own Sonic Screwdriver. A minute later and it was like the house was haunted with a poltergeist. The little device could control most simple electronic equipment, but especially in tuned into their house. The TV, the lights, the phones, the doors, the appliances, the treadmill, the A/C. But it also could identify materials and provide information for her buzzing little mind, from organic to mechanical. A slice of pink cake was the first thing to get scanned, and the device promptly read out a bunch of ingredients to her. Many of the children were awed and some were confused, but Meredith was over the moon and seeing her face get red and flustered as she pointed her new Sonic Screwdriver was a present in return for her family.

“You did make sure that thing can’t catch adult channels right?” Thor whispered across to Tony, who stopped short in his reply and stared off, leaving Pepper to face-palm. 

After fifteen minutes of tormenting the lights and the TV and her father’s StarkPhone Meredith calmed down, hugging the life out of Tony’s legs and holding her present safely to her chest. The children were getting riled up again on account of all the treats, but the first secret gift had arrived and it was perfect timing. The second was apparently completed and ready outside. Jane knew about the second, a second request for Tony, but the second was all Thor’s idea, who had felt rather inept while Jane and Loki had come up with such wonderful ideas for Merry. Never one to be defeated Thor went the extra mile, to which Natasha volunteered to aid as her input.

“Is everyone having a good time?” Jane asked the room.

“Yes!” exclaimed two dozen children.

“Good! Birthday girl, are you having a good time?”

“Yes!” Meredith lifted her Sonic, pointing it straight up in the air.

“Great! Because daddy and aunty Nat have an extra special surprise! I wonder what it is! I truly do.” Jane gave Thor and Natasha a look, receiving nothing but smirks and grins. Loki was tapping his foot, glancing constantly to where Natasha stood, blocking the archway into the living room with a controlled smile, though Loki had learnt when to spot her masks.

“Merry, are you ready to see the extra special surprise?” Natasha asked.

On Thor’s prompting Meredith come closer, standing in front of the crowd and holding her father’s hand. “Yes!”

Natasha leaned back to look into the hallway. “Did you hear that?” She asked, pulling a dubious expression. She made a sad noise and turned back. “…I don’t think he did. Oops, did I say he? I wonder who it could be…Come everyone, are you ready to see the extra special surprise?”

All the children pitched in this time, Tony Skye and Darcy’s voices noticeable in the flurry. “YES!”

“Louder!”

“YES!” Loki and Pepper held their ears as the room erupted, possibly breaking the decibel scale. Thor roared alongside Meredith, Jane silent but eyes big and bouncing besides them. Everyone was shouting and waving their hands, children giggling and screaming and food flying. 

Natasha leaned back with a curious expression, then slipped to the side as a new person hopped into the room, arms out and turning the sound off like a switch.

“Hello! Hello all you lovely young ones! Oh my goodness! Your highness, it is an honour.” The Eleventh Doctor—or rather Matt Smith in character, outfit and all—exclaimed, bowing in front of Meredith, who took one look at her mother, and they both started screaming.

Most of the children weren’t sure how to react, a few seemed to understand who he was, and the parents gasped and hurriedly whispered to their children to explain. Meredith needed no explanation, she knew who the Eleventh Doctor was and he was her favourite. She and Jane managed to sound as loud as the crowd did a moment ago, jumping and screaming and pointing as if they had gone insane. Besides them Thor looked thoroughly satisfied, turning to catch Loki’s eye with pride. Loki grinned and nodded, it was truly a brilliant gift for his daughter. Though Loki had no idea how Natasha convinced the actor to do this.

“Doctor! It’s me, Clara!” Darcy called, rushing up into the mix and startling _The Doctor._

“Clar—! Oh! I didn’t expect to see you here!” he said, glancing back at Natasha who shrugged.

“I know how much you love me so I had to come.” 

In the back Skye coughed, doing a ‘cut it out’ hand motion. 

But true to his profession Smith gave Darcy a friendly shake on the shoulder, then leaned over to address Meredith. “Queen Meredith, your mum and dad loves you so much that they searched every telephone book in the universe to find me. And your dad told me that you’re one smart girl. Just like your absolutely brilliant mother! I love your work on the Convergence theory, by the way.” He added to Jane, rendering her speechless. 

“Me too!” Meredith exclaimed, panting and flustered and looking ready to die.

“Haha! This is just fabulous! Now, where is the cake, I am starving from all the travelling!” 

It was Meredith’s pleasure to lead her Doctor away to the table with the treats, all the while showing him her Sonic and chatting away about things only a diehard Whovian would know. Darcy followed like a tail, much to everyone’s amusement.

Jane took the chane to tear herself away, crashing into Thor, tears in her eyes. She shook him, glancing back constantly as if the actor was going to disappear. “Thor! This is—I can’t—Holy cow! How did—”

“Like it?”

“It’s perfect! This…thank you! I...thank you, Thor. This is perfect. Never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed.”

Thor hugged her, watching Meredith over her shoulder. “Anything for my girls.”

“Oh my God. I am going to watch.” Jane pulled away before he was finished, gaping as something struck her. “Oh my God Darcy, _that‘s_ what she meant.”

She didn’t give anyone the chance to reply and dashed off to join the crowd around the Doctor. Thor shared a smile with Tony and Natasha, silently thanking them, and held out his arm for Loki to slip into. He kissed Loki’s head, watching the scene from across the room.

Loki huddled close, petting his chest. “They are so happy. You did good.”

From the side Tony and Pepper came over, Tony with a colourful fizzy drink in his hand. “All right let’s not forget who built her a Sonic Screwdriver and her own TARDIS—”

“Shh!” Pepper flapped her hands saving Thor and Loki the trouble, but no one heard. “All right then, let’s go help with the snacks.” She suggested, only getting Tony to move on the promise of another _drink_ from Natasha who steered them off.

The room was abuzz, even the children that didn’t know who the Doctor was were full of interest and captivated by his copious hand movements and friendly demeanour, currently balancing three cupcakes on his head. 

“...This is amazing. You’re such a great father.” Loki mumbled, wrapping his arms around Thor’s chest and hugging him close. He’d grown substantially over the years and no longer felt like an imp when besides Thor, but he was thankfully still small enough to wrapped up in those big arms and disappear.

Thor hugged him back and nuzzled his head with his mouth. “That is good to hear. Seems like I’ve gotten the hang of it.”

“You were always good.”

“And one day _we_ will be good.”

“Thanks.”

Thor bumped his hip playfully against Loki’s. “Speaking of…I have a surprise for you too.”

Loki was all full of surprises at this point, but he was never one to turn such a thing down. He smiled, suddenly feeling drowsy and able to fall asleep right there leaning on Thor’s chest. “Oh yeah? What is it?”

“I’ll let you stew a bit. Tell you later.”

“You’re a dick.”

“ _Your_ dick.”

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Matt Smith seemed as astounded by the TARDIS as everyone else, just managing to hide his surprise and play his part. The TARDIS Tony made was set up outside in the backyard. It was a blue police box on the outside, like the actual thing, but it was attached to a room that was cleverly disguised as a small bakery, as if the TARDIS was parked next to it. The bakery was actually a room that could be entered through the TARDIS, boasting the whole ‘bigger on the inside’ gag. Jane and Meredith of course screamed themselves sick, by the end of which Tony was drunk on his fat ego and Natasha had to look around for something to sooth their throats 

All in all it was amazing, and everyone got a change to go in with Tony as the tour guide—The Doctor humouring Meredith by throwing facts and memories from the TV show at her about his times in his own TARDIS. Tony had done a fantastic job replicating it, with of course adding custom Meredith features like a simple and safe oven for baking cupcakes—the girl loved cupcakes. Darcy of course was all too eager to play her part, helping Meredith to pull knobs and levers—unwittingly activating a shake of the machine that was meant to be an extra goodie for Meredith to find, as though she was really travelling through space and time.

It had to be the best birthday party in existence, but that was just Loki’s not-so-humble option.

By six in the afternoon the party was over. The children were both tired and yet high on sugar, and the parents were just plain tired. A cleaning crew came around to help the drowning house, and Matt Smith left with Natasha after giving Meredith a few more minutes just between the two of them. When everyone was gone Meredith and Jane retreated back into the TARDIS together, holding hands, and Loki retreated upstairs with Thor in a similar fashion.

Tired beyond measure Loki groaned as he flopped face first onto the bed, feet hanging off the side. He pulled a pillow to meet him and leaned his chest on it. “So, my surprise?”

“Who said its time?”

“You said later. It’s later now!”

Thor smiled, throwing off his clothing in random directions until all he had on were socks and his trousers. “All right. ...You get more beautiful every day.” He said as he got on the bed, lying next to Loki.

Immediately Loki’s fingers found their way into the hair on his chest. “And you tell me that everyday.”

Gently, as always, Thor traced Loki’s face with his knuckles. “Beautiful, smart, independent. You’ve grown so much. Accomplished so much. I’m proud of my baby.”

Loki wiggled closer, more so when Thor curled his arm around him. “...Only because of you.”

“I helped, but it was all you.”

Loki smiled, nudging his head against Thor’s chin. “Thanks for being patient with me.”

“You’re happy, right?” Thor asked suddenly.

Loki pulled up to frown at him. “Obviously. Do I make you think that I’m not?”

“No, it’s just been a real long time since you’ve lied to me. So either that is good, or very bad.”

Shocked, Loki got up, kicking off his shoes and sitting back on his calves. He leaned over Thor, one hand on his chest and one on the pillow. “I _am_ happy. You make me happy. Are you happy...?” 

Thor smiled, circling his wrists and squeezing. “I have never been happier.”

Loki popped a brow, unsure. “...Are you—is there a ‘but’?”

“In a way.”

Loki’s heart skipped an ugly beat for the first time in a long time. “...Okay?”

“It’s been a pleasure having you in my life, Loki, even when it got...difficult. But if you feel the same I’d like to make it official and hopefully...permanent.”

The ugly skip was replaced by a stampede of giddy beats, like a bunch of young fashionistas running down a narrow staircase towards a shoe sale. He sat up straight, hand going to his mouth. “Oh my God. Are you—?”

Thor sat up, looking concerned but downright naughty. “Not yet. I wanted to find out from you first if this was something you would be interested in. I didn’t want to throw you in the deep end and make you feel like you can’t say no. Because you can. I‘m nearing forty and an old man like me might not be as much fun as I once was.”

Thor was so pushy and greedy when it came to sex that his view on this sounded ridiculous coming from his mouth. Loki giggle-snorted, shifting to sit in Thor’s lap, facing him with his thighs on either side of Thor’s waist. “You’re _not_ old.”

“You call me your _old man_.” Thor said, shifting them both back so he could rest against the headboard.

“During sex! It’s just role-play, like Daddy.”

“And it evolved into ‘my old man’.” There was an exaggerated frown on Thor’s face that told Loki that Thor wasn’t being serious, so he laughed and kissed Thor on both cheeks, palms flat on his chest.

“Oh come on. It turns me on. I like it. Your grey hairs make me hard. But to ease your mind there aren’t many, don’t be self conscious. You know I exaggerate everything.”

Grinning, Thor slid his hands around Loki’s hips. “I guess I can’t complain if you put it like that.”

“You’re still fun. Or have you forgotten this morning already, old man?”

“Well then I am glad you aren’t bored with me.” Thor leaned up and Loki met him for a chaste kiss, closing their eyes and savouring it. When they broke away Loki sighed dreamily, and went back to fiddling with Thor’s chest hair, his body not that of a twenty year old life guard but still well sculpted and attractive, getting more and more _Daddy_ -like as the years went on.

“...I’d say yes. I love you. I love working and being with you and I’d love to keep doing both. I’d say yes if you ask.” He said softly, glancing up from below his lashes.

Thor kissed him again, smiling like a fool and squeezing their bodies together.

“Before I do, I have another question.” Thor said. 

Loki deflated. “...Do I seem so dubious?”

“No no, I just...you’re still extremely young and I don’t want to tie you down because _I_ think you’re happy.”

Not even going there, Loki shrugged. “Okay so what is the question?”

Thor took a deep breath before speaking, not even a beat extra after Loki. “Bruce is ready and certified to give us a baby of our own.”

That wiped Loki’s mind clean. “...What?”

“I don’t know if you’ve been keeping track of the developments but I have. They’ve perfected the procedure and Bruce went in last year to join the team. As you can imagine he knows it inside and out now, and he will help us if the time comes. The public is going to find out soon.”

Loki grabbed onto Thor’s arms for support, starting to shake all over. “We...we can have a baby? Ours? I didn’t—I didn’t even want to hope—I just...”

“So you want to? One day, when—when—”

“No! I mean _yes_ , but, yes! I do. I do—!”

“Great! Great, then we will.”

“I want it all. I’m ready when you are—” Loki cut himself off by diving in for a heated kiss. He had known about the whole business of creating legitimate babies from parents of the same sex but with Meredith there and his everlasting tendency for pessimism Loki just neglected to keep up with the news. He didn’t want to pine then be disappointed. But oblivious waiting paid off, and it was _possible_.

There were so many things to think about, he wanted to get up and colourfully explain to Thor all the thoughts he’d had on a child of their own—but that’s when it hit him that he was _really_ tired, and not just because of the day.

“Maybe we should wait for Meredith to start school. Be a bit more independent? It might be hard chasing after both of them.” he said, chuckling nervously.

Thor blinked, then cupped his cheek with a smirk. “Clever thinking. See? You’ll make a great mommy already.”

Loki fake growled and lightly beat his fist on Thor’s chest. “If you didn’t love my skinny arse so much I’d think you’d prefer me as a woman.”

Acting wounded Thor sat up and curled his arms around him so Loki couldn’t escape. He kissed Loki’s neck tenderly. “No baby, I like you as you are. Because then I can dress you up as an extra treat. Best of both.”

Loki sighed, not upset in the least and hung back lose in Thor’s arms, a smile on his face. “Pervert. Fine, I’ll be the mommy. Will Bruce explain how it’s done?”

“Something about changing a sperm cell into an egg cell. So if it’s okay with you, you’ll be the egg donor.”

Loki pulled his head back up to look at Thor. “Would I carry? Do they make working wombs now too?”

“Actually I think they do, but I don’t think they can pop one in a man just yet. But I was wondering...would you ever consider asking Jane to carry for us?”

No, he hadn’t, he’d never gotten that far, and he was glad he hadn’t because a few years ago the idea might have upset him more than it should. He pursed his lips in thought. “Wow, I never...I never actually thought of that. I just...thought we’d adopt one day. I didn’t want to even think of this and be let down... Or get it and be a horrible parent anyway.” 

Thor nuzzled him in a silent comfort, knowing he hated sappiness. 

“Think it over, we have all the time in the world. The baby will still be ours, Bruce can explain the details to us.”

Loki swallowed, enjoying the feeling of Thor’s big arms around him. He squeezed his firm shoulders as if to test reality. “This is really happening.”

“Baby, relax. It doesn’t have to happen for years. But I will be waiting for whenever you’re ready.”

Now wide awake, though exhausted, Loki nibbled his lip, trying to fend off a naughty smile. “...Can we get married first?”

“Mmh, I really do like the sound of that. Loki, my pretty little wife.”

“I’m not that small anymore you know.”

“No, but you’re still half my size. Height doesn’t count, by the way.”

“Hey now, we’re supposed to be setting an example for elves and dwarves everywhere that we can get along.”

“My sexy androgynous elf. If only they could put a womb in you, I’d strap you to this bed and fuck you till you get pregnant.”

“Fuck...” And there went any chance of Loki asking for foreplay. His sex drive hadn’t diminished over the years, nor had their creativity. Loki grabbed Thor’s neck and yanked him in for a kiss, breaking it a few moments later as he ground forward, keeping just out of reach as Thor craned his neck. “Maybe-maybe we can wait...s-surely science will advance enough for guys to get pregnant? I mean it happens in the fucking Sims...”

Growling, Thor reached between them to unzip, his eyes dark and full of lightening. “I’ll ask Bruce first thing tomorrow.”

Smiling snidely Loki leaned over to breathe into Thor’s ear. “Maybe we’ll get abducted by aliens together and they’ll make us _mate_.”

“As long as you’re game I’ll give them a fucking show.”

“ _Make me pregnant._ ”

The feminization and pregnancy kink was a rather new one in their bedroom, one that Loki unwittingly started when, funny enough, he was playing the Sims. He made an offhand comment about the alien-male-pregnancy thing being cool, one he hadn’t put much thought into until Thor started breathing dirty things into his ear. It might have evolved into a joke had Loki not been so explicably turned on. It hadn’t seemed quite desirable being pregnant or giving birth after seeing Jane do it, but it seemed like a whole new experience to imagine Thor fucking and filling him up until he was swollen with child. For a while after that he couldn’t banish the images of Thor doing just that to Jane, though the context much have been far different and it set his jealous little heart at ease—more so when Thor made good on his filthy whisperings and took him out to a hotel just to go for a marathon fuck that left Loki sore and satisfied—but with a yearning heart. One that Thor was quick to put at ease with big cuddles and sweet whisperings.

“I love you so much, baby,” Thor said, peppering kisses all along Loki’s neck with a certain reverence.

“Daddy,” Loki wheezed, nuzzling down onto Thor to feel the burn of his beard. That was one game that never left the field, it was who they were.

“Daddy’s gonna spread that little hole, eat it, then spread it some more so I can squeeze my cock in there and fill it full of cum. Would my baby like that? Huh?”

Loki burbled incoherently in response, writhing frantically to kick his pants off one leg before he was haphazardly sitting on Thor’s leaking pole. It took two slippery tries, Loki had made sure to hold Thor’s cum in as much as he could, before the red head popping in and they groaned in union, clinging to one another like they might fall off the Earth.

“Daddy loves you so fucking much.” Thor growled, holding Loki’s head in his hands to kiss him hard, bruising, possessive. Loki’s fingers were in his hair, pulling with equal gusto and claim as he sunk to meet Thor’s hips, a familiar dance they had come to master.

“So much Loki…” Thor breathed, eyes clenched tight. There was so much emotion in his voice, it brought Loki straight to tears. Big fat crocodile tears full of bubbling happiness. He secretly never got over the butterflies in his belly whenever Thor proclaimed his love—it still all felt like a dream, the same yet so different to the dream he had had when he was still a silly little teen. The dream of marrying a rich charming man, an older ( _old_ , most likely) man, one that liked to dress him up and show him off, then leave him alone in a big fancy house to make his own and live in peace. His husband was indeed older but he wasn’t the ancient perverted fossil Loki had convinced himself would be the best choice, nor was he shown off like cattle, but rather like a partner, like a wife. He did have a big house, but he wasn’t left alone either—in the sense that mattered. He was loved and appreciated and respected, no longer one slip away from being a prostitute with no family, giving himself away to anyone who dared to approach him. 

The thought of anyone but Thor touching him now put a bad taste in his mouth, and thinking back on his younger days made him feel a little green. Not because he hadn’t been ready, he always insisted he had been fully consensual and eager, but it was the thought of those men and the fact that they had no inhibitions to turn him down. He had been just a kid, a punk, stupid and needy, but they happily took advantage of him, spurring on his curiosity and sexual awareness by making him feel sexy, mature and accomplished. Many of them had known his age as he went around, some hadn’t but where happy to play dumb even when it was clear they suspected. Loki was sad to have Thor in that category, but Thor was different. They both were, full of mistakes and some regrets, but maybe that was why they understood each other. 

Loki had everything he was never smart enough to hope for. 

“I love you, Thor.”

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been BRILLIANT readers. I thank you all for your inspiring, your ranting, your excited spluttering, and your support. Bless you all and may we all get into trashy Daddy kink heaven one day, holding sweaty hands and screaming as them fine ass men walk by with their Babies and Daddies. I LIVE. I DIE. I LIVE AGAIN (innit nux adorabuul??). So hard to resist writing a Mad Max themed fic with Loki thrown in, good grief. Can you imagine it? Thanos as Immortan Joe, Natasha (or Gamora? Gamora is more fitting there…) as Furiosa, Steve and Bucky as misguided War pups. Or Bucky as a War pup, tiny!Steve as a breeder wife. Separated as young’uns. …fuck. Does that make Thor Mad Max? Or Quill? Doesn’t have to be exact I guess. But Tony? Where is Bruce? *sigh* I get more ideas than I have time to write.
> 
> Thank you all for being great sports, and sorry if it’s not perfect <3
> 
> Edit: I realise this chap isn't the sex-off I might have promised and I'm sorry. Kind of in a bad place at the mo, but I'll try write something extra and add it on for a third chap

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll make this part a 2 chaptered fic so subscribe to it so you get the alert for the epilogue scenes and thorki smut scene. I haven’t had a chance to finish that and I wanted to post this, so probably next Sunday the ending will come. You’ve all been such great viewers, thank you for the support. My next fic will be that Splice/Jurassic World fusion of the MCU, containing Thorki and Frostiron and an adorable animal!hybrid Loki. I’ve never written Frostiron before so that should be fun lol.


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